James Bonding

You know it’s my urge to be remade as James Bond. And K is doing her best to shape me. Turns out I’m not alone. In a rare Sunday blog, I give you:

Like Minded Men

Twitter: @shpak60

Published in: on December 12, 2010 at 11:05 am  Comments Off on James Bonding  
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Thrift Shopping With A Cheapass Bastard

Ironically, if I may start Monday Morning with irony, I have a clothes shopping date set up on Thursday.

No, this is not some new angle to meet women, nor is it designed to endear me to a woman already met. Nor either have I lost a bet, run out of underwear, discovered Hell has frozen over, found a sale on XXL Beatles t-shirts or discovered a heretofore unknown tie dye factory.

Kathryn, my Image Consultant (ironical in itself), is taking me shopping on Thursday, American Thanksgiving, and a day before the most storied shopping day of the year in the States.

edndax390_01Great, all I need a month before Christmas is another hole in my wallet. I am the Cheapass Bastard of the title, on the off chance there was doubt. I don’t care to spend a lot of money on myself, or dressing myself. It’s one of the things that caused core muscles to pucker when this image consultant idea first arose.

Kathryn approached it delicately – would I be averse to thrift store shopping? Excuse me? I presume I wasn’t making it clear early on about the Cheapness of my Ass Bastardy. Not only did I not care, but in a curious bit of reverse genetic succession, I’ve acquired a comfort in thrift stores passed up from my daughter to whom thrift stores are low budget wonderlands.

My issues have been covered in this blog previously. Big and Round, remember? A thrift store is a different beast. No rows of james bond photocall 240108comforting uniformity. The answer to the question, “Do you have this in a larger size?” is “No” accompanied by a look that suggests fundamental idiocy on my behalf. If they only knew.

So now Kathryn is even going to scout these places out for me, have stuff put aside. Her job is a particularly disturbing circle of hell, one I believe Dante missed (but he was from Florence, so perhaps shopping wasn’t a big deal for him), where she spends time in stores looking for things for Other People. As I can’t stand doing that when looking for myself, I am totally appalled at the idea.

Yet, her message from the get go is that you don’t have to spend a lot of money to address image. I presume, though, it helps. That’s for another day.

I hope that there is more in my size than a yellow and brown plaid corduroy sport coat. It may not be much, but I DO have an image to maintain.

Time to put on my red t-shirt. I need security.

Published in: on November 22, 2010 at 9:04 am  Comments Off on Thrift Shopping With A Cheapass Bastard  
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