Winding DownDownDown

SantaScottIt’s Christmas around the world shortly and bloggers everywhere are shutting the hell up. Okay, at least I am, but this is probably a good thing. If you’re feeling lost and abandoned with the sporadic nature of posts of late, well, while I appreciate the audience, I hope Santa brings you a life for 2011.

Here are the pros and cons of blogging for me as experienced this year, in no particular order:

  • Pro: Blogs impress girls
  • Con: Whether it’s the right kind of girls remains to be seen
  • Pro: I got a fashion overhaul
  • Con: I have nothing to WEAR!
  • Pro: A reason to keep up with current events and media
  • Con: Actually keeping up with current events and media
  • Pro: There is a reason to sit down and write daily
  • Con: I am drinking way more coffee

(Pauses for coffee…)

  • Pro: Media Exposure
  • Con: Stalker Chick
  • Pro: Can describe self as “blogger”
  • Con: New synonym for “loser”
  • Pro: Colleagues in the Blogosphere
  • Con: Colleagues in the Blogosphere
  • Pro: Good excuse to start using Twitter
  • Con: Twitter
  • Pro: Using Photoshop to make clever composite photos
  • Con: Blog – 20 minutes. Clever composite – 3 hours.

The list could go on and on I am sure. That’s the easy part. However, I have presents to wrap and Christmas baking to avoid. Oh, and a clever composite to photoshop. I’ll post in 3 hours…

Published in: on December 22, 2010 at 10:29 am  Comments Off on Winding DownDownDown  
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Circle of Despair

tennisTomorrow I play tennis for the first time since October. One comment was made: “You’ll never find your balls.”

It took me a minute to realize she meant tennis balls in the snow. I thought she meant… never mind. For the record they have not crawled back inside my body for winter.

I’m starting to get the first rumblings of concern about the increased sedentary nature of winter in general. I have looked at my cross country skis. They looked back, as if to say, “You’re not going to stand on us, are you? Fuuuuuuuuuu…” Oddly, the year that I got them was a year pretty much without snow. Perhaps if I go skiing I can stop this snow nonsense, but more likely true environmental change would require a new sacrificial cash outlay, one I am not prepared to make.

Tennis now and then in the winter won’t make much difference for me anyway, too infrequent and too time limited. I will probably overplay, packing in as much pseudo-ball whacking glory into an hour as I can, as though the calorie burn could be stored, squirrel-like, in my cheeks (yes, an homage auntie e), but sadly it doesn’t work like that. It should.

So with the Christmas Gorge-Fest staring me in the face, I think I better talk to Kathryn about some personal training tips. If you think I was afraid of the clothes, I tell you you know nothing of my fear.

So Kat… I think I’m ready. Provided I survive tennis.

Rolling Lint

July 10 2010 021There are certain responsibilities I’m acquiring in the pursuit to become a Remade Man. Having determined that I look younger, slimmer, taller, smarter, less obnoxious, more mature and much less likely to go postal when confronted with a floor to ceiling display of men’s jeans all by the virtue of wearing black, there is a maintenance phase that I must now enter into.

If it’s cool with you, I think I will forego hand washing my black clothes in Woolite Dark because I like to keep things simple. Owning multiple laundry detergents runs counter to this concept. Yes, true, I use separate soaps for body and hair, but not always, and partially it’s a shopping thing, as I’d go through an all-in-one faster and have to buy more often. Reducing the amount of shopping in my life (at least for things like soap and shampoo) is the greatest way to keep simple. And several friends have told me my quest to stay simple is successful. They know who they are ..l.,

Black does, when more formal than a torn t-shirt, require a bit of Lint-rollerattention, so with that in mind I picked up some lint rollers. Now, I’d like to claim that I got my cat to coordinate with my new wardrobe. It would sound kind of thorough. Truth is he was black long before this process ever started. He was also a little SOB before this process started. I know what you’re thinking: “Kudos for considering lint rollers for cat hair removal, but black cat hair on black clothing? You’re wasting my time on a blog for this?”

I forgive you.

Oh, my mistake. I should have shown you a close-up photo of my cat. There are a couple features you can’t make out in the photo above. They are more prominent here:

Cheechzlebub

The problem with adding a Satanic Cat to a dollar store lint roller is that I ended up with something like this:

Shredded-Paper

Of course, lint rollers are by their nature sticky. And, inconveniently, white. Also, of course, I was wearing some of my new, dark attire when addressing the newly shredded lint roller.

Suffice to say, it appears my t-shirt has cut itself shaving. Severely. And the other lint roller isn’t doing a thing to help. Nor is the cat. My best solution now might be to cuddle the damned cat until his fur covers the sticky bits of lint roller all over me. Problem solved; black restored.

Anybody want to buy a cat, as-is, no exorcism?

Please; help me see the point of Twitter. Follow me: @shpak60

Published in: on December 13, 2010 at 9:43 am  Comments Off on Rolling Lint  
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MediaWhore

Scott MunroeIt’s probably bad enough that I write two blogs essentially built around the minutiae of my life. There’s a little bit of “why me?” combatting with an obviously greater amount of “why not me?” for I actually write these things, don’t I? There is a level of self-indulgence required that I feel somewhat guilty for enjoying.

But not enough to stop it.

Kathryn has, and so do I by extension, a business to run, offering a service that she believes and believes is needed. So when we met with Mr. Media Journalist yesterday to share our story, it simply made sense in putting the word out.

Poor guy. I’m not sure he knew what hit him.

Did I mention we like to talk?

A normal, well-adjusted young man when he arrived, his pencil hand shriveled into a bony raven’s claw as he flipped page after page trying to take in the verbal onslaught. His little digital recorder, which he kept protected in his left hand, underneath his notepad in an attempt to shield it from the 2000 words per minute we directed at it, probably started to overheat with the demands of capturing delivery somewhere around its sampling rate.

Did I mention Kat talks fast?

While she has said nothing about it, I know she’s observed that I always sit in the same spot at the conference table at the Katalyst Studio. Fortunately for Mr. Journalist he chose to sit across from me, in Kathryn’s usual spot. This narrowed the angle with which the barrage was directed. Had he sat at the head of the table, the ping ponging may have whiplashed his head right off.

However, he did an admirable job of taking it all in and seemed to find some relevance in the various aspects of what we have been doing. If he was feeling fear and looking for a chance to flee, he hid it well.

Granted, he was cornered.

Twitter: @shpak60

A Tip Of The Hat

So, as a Remade Platypus, there are a few changes to my life required to keep up, little things that weren’t mentioned, or if they were they were buried far too deep in the instructions for a man to get to without effort.

james stewartI made mention to Kathryn that I wanted to be at “hat guy” as my maternal grandfather was a life JakeBlueslong “hat guy”. A simple enough wish, but my grandfather wore his with an understated , casual elegance, like Jimmy Stewart, whereas I tend to be more Jake Blues. While we share hairlines, we do not share body types.

So my key is to go for hats that de-emphasize the Polish Roundness of face imparted by paternal grandfather. That’s easy enough and I get it. On to the little things that are something more of a challenge.

It has taken me long enough to get comfortable with keeping track of the various articles necessary to conduct my day. Walletkeyscellphone. It’s mantra-like now. Walletkeyscellphone. Now throw a hat on this. And a scarf. Getting out the door isn’t the issue, it’s a matter of keeping track of this extra paraphernalia through the excursion. I used to chide Famous Director for his tendency to wear scarves in what seemed to be unseasonal scarf weather. I know now it was simply a matter of his walletkeyscellphonescarf mantra.

Heading downtown soon to the Katalyst studio. Looks like it’s a walltetkeyscellphonescarfhat day. Let’s see if I get home in one piece.

Twitter: @shpak60